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Wouldn’t it be awkward if you’re entertaining this week’s boyfriend when last week’s date drops in? Yes, indeed. If so, do your best to at least make time for a drink then you can explain that “this isn’t a good time for a longer visit,” should that be the case. While they’re more likely to do this with other Thai friends than with a westerner in a hotel, it could still happen. Don’t be surprised by unannounced visits. Thai people commonly drop in on friends without notice.Be prepared to be sniffed! Sniffing someone’s cheek shows intimacy.(After that kiss, you think it’s unsanitary to share a toothbrush!?) None of these acts is unusual by Thai standards, and there’s no reason to object to them. Make way for little differences. Your new boyfriend may use your toothbrush, leave pools of water on the floor after a shower, wear your clothes without asking, or leave footprints on the toilet seat.Be generous. This, like dressing neatly, is expected of someone of your status.Long pants, and clean, pressed clothes, are expected of someone in your position. In general, don’t boast, brag, or act superior about anything. Don’t compare your country favorably to Thailand. Such comments would be rude in any country they seem particularly boorish in Thailand.Compliment often never criticize. If you must make a comment that might be construed as “constructive criticism” in the U.S., do it subtly, and balance it with compliments.(Granted, straight male friends may hold hands or walk arm-in-arm in Thailand! But everyone reads the situation differently when it involves a western man and a Asian man.) Let your friend set the pace for what’s acceptable and comfortable. Don’t initiate public demonstrations of affection. No kissing.(If a Thai invites you, and offers to pay, that’s fine but don’t expect it.) But on a date, it’s assumed that you’ll pay. (See the Social Hierarchy page.) This doesn’t mean you treat your partner shabbily. You’re the social superior. The notion of dating someone on a non-equal basis is tough for most Americans to swallow, but in Thailand, the concept of social superiority is too ingrained to be ignored.Some of the customs below apply only to dating, others will be relevant in a variety of other social situations as well. But he’ll still be more comfortable if you understand, and respect, his* own culture and customs. Sooner than expected, you may find yourself socializing with new friends, or even dating on a level that involves more than a trip back to the hotel room.Īny Thai who speaks enough English to carry on a conversation with you probably understands western customs to some extent. Moreover, these Thai men are eager to meet you. W estern men who visit gay bars or other gay venues in Thailand will readily meet Thais who speak enough English to socialize.
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“He just used my toothbrush!” You’ll handle certain surprises better, if you’re prepared for the differences between Asian and western cultures.